


300 Horsepower

by joaniedark



Category: Moonbeam City
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-05-01 20:15:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5219333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joaniedark/pseuds/joaniedark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"When Pizzaz's car breaks down, she gets on Jackson Pollock (that my OC's name) and she chases down the crim on horseback"</p><p>I write the strangest gift-fics...</p>
            </blockquote>





	300 Horsepower

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ceisadilla](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceisadilla/gifts).



There was only one thing more infuriating than Pizzaz having to leave her office to perform street work due to her incompetent staff.

That one thing, that one  _miserable_ thing, was when she realized that the only Interceptor left in the Moonbeam City Police Force garage had been utterly wrecked beyond usefulness.

She looked the thing over in a mixture of horror and anger, wondering what on  _earth_ had happened to the thing. A door was off its hinges, it stank to death of whisky, and was that... _who on earth installed a Sybian in the driver's seat?_  

She had to compose herself.  _Calm down, Miller, there's an emergency alarm going on upstairs and you're the only capable person in this fucking office._ She looked around, trying to decide which would be the more efficient vehicle between a police vespa and a small undercover sedan.

It was then that she heard the glorious sound of skin pounding against cement. She looked up, her eyes slowly widening with pure joy at the sight of the creature running up towards her. The horse was a beautiful white Arabian, muscled legs rippling as it seemed to gallop towards her in slow motion. It's head shook, black mane streaked with sparkling rainbows glimmering under the fluorescent lights of the garage. The magnificent beast was made all the faster by its four human feet, toenails daintily painted a deep purple. 

"Officer Jackson Pollock, you've returned," Pizzaz whispered in awe, holding out a trembling hand. The horse nuzzled it's face into her palm. "I thought you had retired from the force, never to return."

"Neigh," it said in a deep male voice.

Pizzaz nodded, then hopped up onto the creature's back. She clung to it's neck as it reared up and whinnied before bolting out of the parking garage and onto the turbulent streets of Moonbeam City.

* * *

"If our demands aren't met, we're going to start shooting each and every person in this goddamned school," a racially ambiguous, purely white-skinned man shouted out of the window of P. Nagel Elementary School. The schoolchildren and teachers were cowering under the threat of the gun-wielding men surrounding them in the cramped classroom. 

"For the last time, sir, it is beyond the police's ability to bring Darth Vader to personally congratulate you on a successful hijacking," a tired negotiator said through his megahorn.

"The fuck do you mean? Is Mr. Vader more important to you than children's lives?"

"No, he's just  _fictional_!"

"Bullshit! How did they film him if he isn't real?"

"Because--" The negotiator stopped as he heard the pounding of feet behind him. He spun around and gasped. 

"The hell are you looking at?" the man yelled from the window before he saw the beast on the horizon as well. He looked out in fear, crossing himself.

"What is it, Big D?" one of the thugs asked. The man didn't tear his eyes from the window. 

"The most terrifying police officer any criminal could ever face," he said quietly, right before a bullet hit him directly between the eyes.

The room was a panic. People were screaming, children clinging to each other, the gang waving their pistols around. Within moments the classroom door burst open, kicked in half by the forefeet of the horse beast while Pizzaz brandished her assault rifle menacingly. What happened next was all a blur of gunshots, kicks, bites, and pure rainbow energy blasting through the classrooms. The screams and wails heard outside were horrendous, and the negotiator found himself praying to deities he had long thought didn't exist for the people inside.

As soon as it had started, it stopped. All was quiet, and as the dust slowly started to settle, the police team outside found themselves wondering if anyone inside was still alive. They also wondered where all the dust had come from, seeing as none of the fighting was outside, but that was a whole different matter.

The front door of the school creaked open. There was an audible intake of breath from the forces outside as they waited to see what would emerge. 

Slowly, out trotted Jackson Pollock. The disheveled police chief sat on his back still, cradling two children in her arms as another one sat behind her with her gun. The rest of the children and teachers filed out alongside the horse, looking weary but thrilled.

The negotiator ran up to them eagerly. "Chief Miller! O-Officer Pollock! Sirs! What happened?" Pizzaz sighed, tired.

"All assailants are now out of commission. No harm came to a single hostage," Pizzaz said. She looked dramatically into the sunset, which the negotiator noted was strange for 1:45 in the afternoon. "It's all thanks to Officer Pollock. Without him, I'm sure we would all be dead."

A cheer erupted, and all gathered around to pick up the horse onto their shoulders, promptly knocking the child with the gun to the ground. As the crowd marched their hero across the street in jubilation, the horse clapped his human feet together in joy. He looked straight into the non-existent camera, giving a hideously human-like grin.

"Whinny."

 

**Author's Note:**

> This was not supposed to be my first Moonbeam fanfic. I've had a beautiful kinkfic 30% finished since episode two came out. And yet this is the first thing I have produced and put on this site.  
>   
> Expect better Moonbeam in the future.


End file.
